Life Lesson #857: Never leave the house without a bra on.

RV season is upon us.
Scratch that.
RV season is upon my parents.
This means I will be resident mail-getter and responsible for turning lights off in the morning, changing the blinds around to try to fool any wily burglers that might be surveilling their house, and then reverse the process at night.

I'm not an early riser, so on the last morning of their trip, when they were due to be home around noon, I needed to hurry out of bed at 9 to get the paper and turn off the lights, etc.

Not one to ruin a good sleep, I stumbled out of bed, grabbed my car keys, and drove the half-block to their house.

I pulled into their driveway and pushed the garage door opener.

Nothing.

I pushed it again.

Still nothing.

Well, huh. I sat back in the driver's seat, stumped.

Sitting back offered me a new vantage point. I looked up and realized their house had changed colors overnight.

Horrified, I backed out of the driveway and tried to get away before the actual resident of that house saw me in my car, trying to open their garage door.

One street later, I turned into the refuge of my parent's house. I checked to be sure it was still the same color. Oddly enough, the garage door opener had worked from a street away.

Since it was already half open, I darted out of my car and ducked under it before anyone else could see me.

Serves me right for leaving the house less than fully dressed.

Remarkably mediocre.

So, despite what should have taken me 4 months to complete, over a year later I have finally completed my online medical transcription training.

Bravo.

I took the final test, a 48-hour affair which actually required about 8 full hours of work time. For a week, I bit my fingernails to the quick while I waited for my scores.

94.

I laughed out loud. To get the distinction of having graduated with "high honors," one must get a 95.

Oh well. Cest la vie, right? Plus, I figured my masters would help the other 1 point fly by, unnoticed by potential employers.

Wrong.

15 applications later, I am still unemployed. My parents and I had a "Come to Jesus" discussion last night, wherein reality came home between my ears that perhaps the masters is actually working against me. In this economy, one must take whatever employment they can get, right? Potential employers probably take one look at my resume and say, "Right. She's going to jet the second things turn around."

So, then what? Tell them the truth? That my health sucks and I have no intention of leaving the transcription industry (once I can even get into it...)? Great. Then they see, "She will call in sick every other day."

Leave the masters off the resume? But I worked really hard for it. It shows tenacity. And bravery. The willingness to take on such student debt in the face of unassured career fulfillment takes a certain kind of gumption, right?

I'm retaking my final now. It's open in a different browser window. I'm remarkably unmotivated to do it. I've folded laundry. Paid bills. Walked them to the mailbox, even though it's pouring out and my dog was pissed at having to go with me, even though I put his raincoat on. He stood in the middle of the street and refused to budge. I waved at a neighbor driving by. They ignored me. Work hard, and things turn out okay.

Right?

Right?