Symmetries of Life

I'm not a huge fan of my grandmother. In my defense, I do feel compassion for her: I feel the same compassion I feel for all human beings, like the homeless people panhandling. I make a point to make eye contact and smile, showing that I recognize their humanness. I never give away my money, but that's because frugality trumps humanity every time. It's a scientifically proven fact. Look it up.

Grandma is a little dingy in the head. This is not something that can be attributed to old age. She has always been a little dingy. We had drop pendant lighting installed in our living room when I was younger (and thus, she was younger, negating the rationalization that she's in the "it must be dementia" demographic). The lights dropped down from a runner that was installed into the electricity wired through the ceiling.

"Those are so pretty!" Grandma said, complimenting my dad on his handwork. "How interesting! How do you get them to light?"

Instead of explaining the complexity of indoor electricity to my Grandma, Dad responded:
"Batteries."

Grandma nodded knowingly. "Oh, I see. Very pretty!"

Grandma is now 91. The other day, she demanded to know where my Mom had put her box of Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies.

"I left them underneath my bed! By my shoes! Now I can't find them."

Mom was left wondering why someone would store their cookies by their shoes. I was left wondering why she has a box of Girl Scout cookies, an annual treat normally sold in April, underneath her bed in January.

Mom told me this story at dinner last night. After dinner, I had Trumie in one arm, my water bottle in another, and my car keys in my hand. I wanted to take home a handful of dark chocolates from the candy dish on the counter. No pockets. Dog, water bottle, no free hands...I set the dog on the counter and got my handful of candy. I bent down and stuffed them around my ankle inside of my sock.

Mom looked at me questioningly.

"It's not a long drive home," I said. "They won't melt."

"No, it's not that," she said. "I was just wondering why it is you think you're so different from your grandmother."