The gift that keeps on giving

I made my first payment on $17,000 worth of student loans today. Slipping the envelope into the mailbox gave me a sense of accomplishment. Not only did I make it through school, but I am paying for it all by myself, too. I inhaled the beautiful scent of self-reliance.

I stopped mid-sniff: I will be paying for this self-reliance for the next ten years.

For ten years, until I am thirty-seven, this monthly mailing out of my hard-earned money will become a familiar ritual. I will watch my nest egg dwindle as I tarry away at a job that was below my intellect before I got the masters degree.

Actually, student loans aren't completely unlike herpes. You do something stupid like continue your education, or sleep with a sleazy guy, and you're exactly where you would have been anyway (in a boring job or painfully single), minus the extra few hundred dollars a month. In return, you get saddled with the gift that keeps on giving. Assuming the herpes doesn't manifest as facial canker sores, no one can see your affliction. Just like they can't see your masters degree.

So, next time you think about doing something to better yourself or to increase your station in life, remember this: herpes don't cost $17,000.