Is there a doctor in the house?

Drug commercials are such a bizarre facet of our marketing industry. The disclaimers are odd, disconcerting, and no-brainers.

"This (drug for arthritis) may cause pain, swelling, and lymphoma." Huh. Arthritis, cancer...arthritis, cancer...I'll take my chances with debilitating joint pain. Pain means you're still alive. Anything ending in -oma makes me nervous.

"Please tell your doctor if your immune system is not normal due to bone marrow or kidney transplant." If my doctor doesn't already know that my immune system is not normal due to bone marrow or kidney transplant, I think potential side effects of the drug in question are the least of my problems - I think I'd need a new doctor.

I saw a commercial this evening for a nasal spray. "Do not spray in eyes or mouth." While I appreciate the drug company trying to cover all the orifices that could be mistaken for the nostrils, they missed ears and rears. Of all the places to warn a person not to spray something, I would think the rear would warrant a mention.

And finally, Cialis. What is up with the bathtubs? In trying to portray a relaxing atmosphere, one conducive to sexual activity, the ad managers show a couple on a deck, watching a sunset, holding hands from within their respective bathtubs.

One would think that this would make copulating as physically difficult as twin beds for married TV couples. I have one word for their ad people: Jacuzzi. Problem solved.

As far as how to ensure the American public doesn't put nasal spray in their mouths, well, I can't help there. Maybe Darwin would have something to say about this.