I kneed a new knee

I had my knee replaced four years ago. With cadaver bone. Gross. I called the doctor's office to schedule my appointment, and they said, "Great news, we can schedule you for Wednesday. We just got in a new shipment of knees." A new shipment of knees. What a bizarre...Anyway. One of those knees found its way into my knee. And now THAT bone is dying and crunching and giving out on me with increasing frequency. Sigh. At least I'm well on my way to hitting my insurance max-out-of-pocket for the year. This post is boring and my insurance was not the point of it. I wonder what the point was.

Oh yes. There it is. I was in Walmart last weekend, which anyone who has ever ventured into the store knows is akin to hiking across the sahara. Or arctic tundra, depends on the time of year. I'm in the toothpaste area, and can't find my mom - a disconcerting experience, no matter how old you are. I start walking toward the cat food, am at the lipsticks, and my knee gives out. The pain was quite impressive. I lost my balance, and almost fell into the lipstick display. As my arms waved in the air, I envisioned the Walmart manager telling me I was responsible for purchasing the 372 lipsticks I knocked to the ground.

I somehow managed to pull a Kerri Strugg performance from the '96 Olympics, staying on one leg. After a few moments, I tried to put some weight on my bad leg. No luck. "Well great. I'm stranded in Walmart."

I obviously made it out alive, as I'm here telling you about it. How lame would that have been though, a girl who finds NO purpose to makeup WHATSOEVER, forced to spend the equivalent of a month's mortgage on the crap? I feel as if I pulled one over on fate - 'you may have blessed me with a bum body, but you're still stuck with trying to sell those 372 Revlon Super Sheers in this economy.'